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Ian Mocks: "Your Last Breath"
Ian: Hey, my name's Ian. Today we're mocking an episode of Supernanny: The Theory Animated called "Your Last Breath". General, Trivia, and Transcript. Let's begin. General Your Last Breath Ian: Fucking hell, mate, that's a bit edgy. (JP: Dr. Toshio Saves the Day) Ian: Technically, it's just "Toshio Saves the Day" because he doesn't have a Ph.D. A Chinese man named Xiaoping Zhenging is found by the team Ian: After being trapped in one bed for 25 years, a la Blanche Monnier. he is treated by the team's group of child doctors, but he refuses to be treated by Toshio Samo, the team's head doctor Ian: Because he's fucking six years old? due to his fear of the Japanese. Ian: Yes, because there's always gotta be an irrational reason to make Toshio seem the victim. His behaviour to Huizong is out of control and it landed him in Zhizhu Ying for a week. Ian: What is Zhizhu Ying? We learn that regardless if the patient makes any excuse, Toshio and the other medical members of the Theory team will always try to cure any problems. Ian: This could swing both ways: Either the patient could stop having discomfort or the team of doctors without Ph.D.'s could make a problem worse, hence why you need to have a Ph.D. to be a doctor. Transcript (this a fucking goldmine of cringe) Zhenghan is dragging a Chinese man to the base and he looks at Monika I Ian: Insert DDLC joke. Wei: "" (Translation: Wei Zhenghan, team's rapper, Ian: Does Wei always call himself "the team rapper"? That's a bit ego-strokey. Monika I: "" (Translation: Sure, come on in, Herr Wei) Ian: That's a language mishmash if I'd ever seen one. comes in the base while dragging Xiaoping Ian: Come on guys, Wei didn't mean to come, but the thought of that helpless skinny man... Sophie: "Wei, where were----OMG! WHAT IS THAT?!" Ian: It's a copy of Windows XP Home Edition Service Pack 3 with a license key. Wei: "" (Translation: An injured Chinese man I found) Ian: No, shut your mouth, it's a copy of Windows XP Home Edition Service Pack 3 with a license key! Can't you read? Maozhi is seen playing with Jiao Xion Ian: Were they playing Doom? Or Wolfenstein 3D? Mulan: "" (Translation: Should we get Mr. Samo to treat him?) Ian: I'd recommend you don't, because Toshio knows jackshit about being a doctor, because he's six years old! Sophie: "Yes, Wei, bring him to Toshio's office." Ian: Move over, actual doctors, this six-year-old absolute unit is gonna completely mend this man back up. brings the man to Toshio's office Ian: I hate to be Chris Desjardins, but now Xiaoping has a minute to pray, a second to die. Wei: "" (Translation: Yo, quack, You get another patient, he has third degree burns and s***) Ian: FTFY. Toshio: "" (Translation: I'll see what I can do, you can go, Rapper-chan) Ian: Now that's an undeserved title. Tokiko Okina: "Thank kami-sama you're awake! Toshio will be with you shortly) Ian: Please fucking don't. Toshio Samo: "" (Translation: Hello, I am Dr. Toshio Samo, the team's respectable doctor) Ian: Half of that sentence needs to be in air quotes to make any sense at all. Wei: "" (Translation: I forgot to mention, the guy has a huge fear of the Japanese, pretty sure the Sino-Japanese wars, good luck, Doctor) Ian: How do you forget to mention that? That's a crucial detail! Marie Lara-Rutter: "Please, calm down, Toshio and his team are really excellent at this." Ian: No they fucking aren't! None of them are older than eleven! Satoko Samo: "" (Translation: I know the Chinese, Koreans, both South and North in this army, do not hate us, but all three have a huge anti-Japanese sentiment problem due to many Japanese not knowing about the war crimes outside Japan, This doesn't make my tours harder for me) Ian: Are you blaming him for not liking Unit 731? Jiao: "He's saying "HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING IN THE NANKING MASSACRE! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, I NEVER VISITED NANKING, I ONLY VISITED MANCHURIA! I AM THE CAMP OF SPIDERS COMMANDER AND OFFICER IN THE JAPANESE SPEAKING-CORPS AND I DEMAND YOU RESPECT ME!"." Ian: No wonder Huizong always posts the Navy Seal copypasta! Xiaoping: "SHUT UP STARSCREAM, TAIWAN IS CHINA!" punches Xiaoping in the nose Ian: Is Huizong seriously decking someone because Huizong doesn't know geography? Huizong: "" (Translation: SAY THAT AGAIN! I WILL KILL YOU!) Ian: Okay, I, Dr. Ian EXPUNGED diagnose Huizong Zhungxi with Small Man Syndrome. Sophie: "Xiaoping, you are violating the Peaceful China Policy, we want friendship between the Chinese-speaking community, please don't say that, have some mercy on the Taiwanese members here and don't say stuff like this, they really hate that, Mei, our communications officer, most of her superiors are Japanese and she respects them like anyone else, have some mercy on our Mandarin Chinese-language community and don't say stuff like that, and any abuse to Japanese members enlisted will not be tolerated under any circumstances, yes, Japanese did bad things during WWII and before that, but look, the reason we use the IJA uniforms for Japanese members is that they wanted something that connects their culture and roots, basically, it was Satoko-san's idea, and we can't change it, I know it is strongly involved with Japanese imperialism, but we tweaked the uniforms a bit, so, obey this policy." Ian: Sophie, you realize that Xiaoping has like no idea what you're on about? Reicheru: "Fail to listen, you will be sent to Zhīzhū Yíng for a week, we asked Huizong not to poison prisoners who have been sentenced to less than 2 months, Violators of the Peaceful China Policy go here, aswell as Chinese political prisoners, so it's basically a reeducation-concentration camp, Huizong runs this camp." Ian: At least tell them of the policy before you give them warnings! Zhao Cloud: "" (Translation: You cannot claim Taiwan is China, it's against Sino Rights, I've met Jiao, Hiro's daughter, she's Taiwanese-Japanese, and Starscream's friends? They're just like regular Asian teens you see everyday) Ian: Stop throwing a tantrum, Zhao! Jiao: "He is saying "Dude, stop acting like a child, DO YOU EVER SEE THE RIOTS THAT HAPPEN IN CHINA?! PEOPLE GET DRAGGED OUT OF JAPANESE MADE CARS AND BEAT THEM AND LOOT, DESTROY, AND HURT OTHER PEOPLE! That's not protesting, that's them being violent and being b****es, despite this, Taiwanese people still helps Japanese people, You need to relax, Japan isn't the same as before, it's different, but it's relations with Taiwan are still as strong as ever! I can think I can explain why Japan won't apologize, many reasons, first, Chinese Communist Party didn't rule until 1949, they hate human rights violator Communists that attack countries just because they don't like them"." Ian: How ironic is it that Huizong's telling someone not to act like a kid? Huizong: "" (Translation: Next time, you are banned from bringing in Chinese people if they don't know our policy not to claim Taiwan is China) Ian: How about you tell them the policy first before you starve them, you megalomaniacal pieces of shit? Jiao: (translates) "Red Spider is saying "You are stupid and a moronic-brainwashed Chinese b*****d!, Your country has hurt Taiwan and left it traumatized and are always against us and they want to make Taiwan as the 23rd province of China forcefully! They will be treated when Japan attacked China, NO, Worse than when Japan attacked China! We don't want a brainwashed Chinese p**** claiming Taiwan is China anymore! I'm I clear you idiot?!"." Ian: So you're starving this Chinese kid since you disagree with his views on China? Why are you such a megalomaniac? There's more cringy shit too, but this is all I can take in one session. I'm out. Bye! Category:Fanfics Category:Ian Mocks